let the blood flow

How wonderful it is, how pleasant,
when brothers and sisters live together in harmony! Psalm 133

why this is such a hard lesson for me to learn, i´m still trying to sort out. my heart burns for community, but my pride still wages war on my soul each time i try to admit it.

you are weak, child. you are not a “part” of anything. simply a misplaced piece to a long-forgotten puzzle.

i watched magnolia yesterday. we should watch it daily. what makes up “reality” may not be (and often isn´t) what´s expected, but that certainly doesn´t give us license to ignore it. inwardly we are dying because we drown truth. we defy it for a lie that is more beautiful, less of a bother, more clean, more strong. it´s no wonder – the culture of the united states is such a challenging venue to practice who scriptures glorify: the poor, mourning, meek, and hungry.

this is no exciting new landmark sermon, but in the last few months (especially since i´ve been on my own here in europe) it´s taken the forefront on my journey. and for a wound to heal it must be exposed to air.

i met a man the other day who looked me in the eyes and said, “calais is about endings. when something finishes you don´t look back, you move on to the next. take care, my dear, it´s a dangerous strength you hold.” it´s mind blowing to hear near-prophesy from the mouth of a man i had considered a drunk, a down-and-out. he was right, of course. while there´s purpose in the way i was raised and the events of my childhood, there´s also a huge pitfall.

a friend once told me that our strengths unchecked are double weaknesses. sure enough, i´ve always considered my independence my biggest strength…and now it´s become my tallest hurdle. at least in this season. i went on a journey alone – perhaps to say to myself and everyone else “i need nothing and no one,” but what i´ve discovered is that it´s a HUGE load of bull.  i was built for community. i was built for community. i was built for community. and yet again, a lesson i learned over a year ago is finally making it´s own journey: from my head to my heart.

………………………………………………………………………………………………..

It’s not what you thought
When you first began it.
You got, what you want
You can hardly stand it though
By now you know

It’s not going to stop
It’s not going to stop
It’s not going to stop
Till you wise up…

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lenticular?

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Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
-Kahlil Gibran

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