at home

home for me isn’t often what home should be. its usually a place that produces more stress than rest.  i amaze myself with how little patience and love i’m capable of exibiting…and then i dread home more in fear of the self i become than the people on whom i blame the transition.

saturday i arrived in cedar falls, iowa for the first time since last summer.  and my plan is to stay for nearly two weeks.  the longest amount of time i’ve spent in cedar falls since i graduated from high school and hurriedly packed everything i owned in a trailer and hit the road without so much as a goodbye: 4 days.  
i feel like my consistent time in north america is coming to a close quite rapidly, and so i want to spend some time with my sisters, my brothers, and my dad.  i quite nervously i decided to make an extended trip here – quite scared it would end in my violent departure abroad.  
the result has been astonishing.  i am overwhelmed with gratitude at the kind of interaction my dad and i have had.  he’s still the same scatterbrained, distracted guy he’s been for the last 10 years or so, but what usually hurts my feelings and drives me overboard has become endearing and fun!  it hurts to acknowledge the kind of life he’s forced into living right now.  he’s such a fun, carefree individual at heart, but years of stress have forced him into a pretty straining circumstances.   and i’m so glad i’ve gotten to spend time with my little sister during this time – it’s a pretty tough transition for her these past few weeks as her boyfriend just landed an amazing position with the united nations and is moving to washington dc.  sisters are timeless – i love her so much.
thank you for family
for restoration
for moments of peace
for love through whatever comes our way

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Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
-Kahlil Gibran

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