another step

tonight i happened upon a silly poem i wrote several months back.  it’s fitting this day – my last day living in los angeles.  (or at least as far as i can tell).

it’s been a tumultuous past few weeks.  seemingly breaking and healing daily or even every few hours.  epiphany follows faceplant follows epiphany.  i guess that’s the way it goes sometimes.  time heals some things.  words heal others.  other just never heal and the healing comes in accepting that.  or in letting time show you how it really healed after all…just not as you’d expected.

i thought i had drained my tear ducts last night on the phone with my lovely older sister, but it turned out i had more.  i spent a good 10 minutes crying – nay – sobbing on a co-teachers’ shoulder at lunch.  complete with the hyperventelation that required pulling her hair out of my mouth at the end of it all.  i suppose a kindergarten’s the place to find friends that allow such things.  i’m going to miss them and i know they’ll miss me, but that’s all new territory for me to admit to.

tomorrow i get on a plane and all this chaos falls away for now, but new stress will come and trials don’t live in one city or another.  i’m not trying to escape anything like that.  i’m only choosing (finally) to risk my faith and my pride by living somewhere that could possibly stay. now that‘s new territory.  and this sharp learning curve of the last month?  i think i’ll terve splendor from the sallow.  i have no doubt.


1 Response to “another step”

  1. 1 Amy December 19, 2009 at 9:52 am

    oh. how i love you.

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Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
-Kahlil Gibran

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